Diary Entry Five Hundred: March 11, 1990

I am going to hate having to explain to my friends tomorrow why we did not listen to Aylwin’s inauguration on the radio. I just did not want to. Everyone, at least all of Jorge and I’s friends, are saying what an important moment this is for Chile; to finally be out from under the thumb of General Pinochet and his thugs. The nation is still divided politically though. Over a quarter of people still voted for Jamie Guzman, the rat who ran the regime behind the scenes. Just too many people see that man and Pinochet’s actions as justified. I simply cannot understand it. What about the human toll? Not just the lives lost but also those who were tortured and had loved one’s disappeared? What about the scars on Jorge’s face? They will never go away. The best that we can do at the moment if unite as a nation behind a new political regime. Throw all our weight and might as a nation and bring in a new Chile. One were our children do not have to grow up in fear. Jorge and I’s generation should deal with the losses on our own emotional terms and work to create a new society based on hope rather than fear. We should not let the political scars of our generation be put on the next.

I have disagreed with Jorge so much on this issue. He wants revenge. He wants justice through the courts and for the truth to be found out for all the families of the disappeared. I keep telling him that trying the guilty will not take his scars away or bring his friends back. I understand his position, but I do not want little Diego to hear those horrific phrases in the news that we hear every day. Murder. Torture. Rape. Disappeared. I do not care about the perpetrators being punished. I want Diego, my child, to grow up in a world free of fear and violence. That for me is justice. Hope for the new generation.

Jorge feels so differently. We named Diego in honor of his friend, Diego Rodriguez Lorca, who was killed in the early days of Pinochet’s regime. He was only twenty but he was like a father to Diego. Hell, he was his father, Jorges’s dad was never around. I do not want Diego to know the origin of his name but I am sure Jorge will tell him. The more I think about it the less I like the idea of my child carrying the name of a dead man. Carrying the injustice that was inflicted upon him.

1 thought on “Diary Entry Five Hundred: March 11, 1990

  1. ssvolk says:

    We all carry the names of those who have gone before us, Catalina. Naming your son “Diego” was a fine thing to do. Some day, when he is older, you both can tell him about the days he didn’t live through and whose name he carries. The one thing we can do about the past is remember it and learn from it.

    [Note: Jaime Guzmán never ran in an election. Aylwin’s main opponent, named by the military, was Hernán Buchi. Also, while the intent of the avatar postings are much less formal than a regular paper, reread them before you post to catch both spelling mistakes, dropped letter, and grammar.]

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