Yikes! I just remembered that I tried to start a diary years and years ago, but I continue to let my life get the best of me as I move forward in life. Today, one of the most momentus occasions in Argentinian history has occurred: Adolfo Sclingo, a man responsible for the deaths of more than one of my close friends, has finally been sentenced in a court of law.
This means more to me than almost anything else simply because it is an example of another country actually having the cojones to stand up to a powerful man, someone who to me felt untouchable, and lock him up for terrible crimes. I don’t expect that he’ll serve the full 640 years in jail, but I wish that he would stay alive just to suffer that torture, a small price to pay for the torture that he put us all through for so long.
However, this ruling to me has conflicting feelings. I love that the Spanish government took the initiative to prosecute this man themselves, but I hate that we didn’t do it ourselves. We’re supposed to be a strong country, and I had always hoped that as the years went by, people would have been less afraid of these monsters and would lock them up in jail where they belong. To me, this ruling in Spain only confirms the reality that we are still a weak country that is held by those who hurt us so long ago and we refuse to prosecute them. I wish so desperately that we would have some guts and would do the dirty work ourselves.
I feel the familiar feelings of guilt that I haven’t done enough since the transition back to democracy to help the fight that I worked for for so long. I really wish that I hadn’t gotten caught up in my life and helped this fight as well. It hurts me to look back on this last journal entry and see that I had tried to reform myself 15 full years ago, to no avail. Am I a coward by nature? I remember that I used to rail against those in Argentinian society who ignored the disgusting deaths and tortures in this country and instead chose to live their comfortable lives, but I have turned into that same person without even the threat of death hanging over me. Since when was I so self-centered that I did so little work to help the less fortunate. I feel like a failure to the world around me for my failure to put everything into the fight, and this time, I make a commitment to help those around me.
-Roberto Rodriguez Clemente