Again, apologies for my negligence. These exercises of self-reflection verge on sadistic at this point.
I don’t even know where to begin. I’ll start with the present.
The world cup ended two days ago. The excitement and joy that pervaded the streets is slowly waning. Regardless, I’m in no mood to celebrate. Like many of my former colleagues (I’ll get to that later) and friends, I rooted for the Dutch. The Netherlands’ effort to counteract, and delegitimize the regime’s shameless self-promotion was laudatory.
It’s difficulty for me to find joy in anything since the events of last year. I can’t believe it’s been a year since the paper folded following Jacobo’s arrest. It’s truly mind boggling.
Jacobo and Enrique, a close colleague of mine, were arrested on April 15th of last year. Enrique’s targeting was arbitrary– we were all complicit in Gravier’s actions (in case you live under a rock, he laundered money to the Montoneros, and was eventually indicted for embezzlement). Several of my colleagues have disappeared, but none of them have garnered nearly the amount of media attention as Jacobo; he is, after all, the media darling of the current age. I live in anguish everyday. I don’t understand how I’m still alive. Survival is nothing more than Russian roulette.
It’s too painful to continue. Jacobo is back home, though. He’s confined to house arrest. I haven’t been able to visit him. It’s all too much
My 60 year old father disappeared two months ago. He was preparing to teach a seminar on Pablo Neruda with a colleague that “failed to observe the basic moral principles” of the regime. There is not an hour that goes by where he doesn’t cross my mind. I don’t think I can talk about it right now.
I have a copy of the now infamous Massera article tacked beside my desk where he bemoans the disintegration of conventional social mores and virtues. I’m still an academic at heart. Massera’s holy trifecta– Marx, Freud, and Einstein– are the perpetrators of this attack on culture. Can you imagine? Capital “questions the stability of a private economy;” Freud “attacked the holy and intimate sphere of the individual” in his The Interpretation of Dreams; and last but not least, Albert Einstein is held accountable for having caused a crisis in connection to “the static and dead structure” of the material world in relation to his own relativity theory.
Oh, the absurdity of it all!!!!!