How? How could this have possibly happened? Justice and vindication were so close at hand, but all for nothing. Today, on December 10th, 2006, Augusto Pinochet, murderer of my sister Natalia Klein Rodriguez, escaped punishment for his wrongs through a natural death. I know many rejoice today, but I do not join them. I am angry. Why was he not tortured and brought to the verge of death from suffering? Why was he not thrown to the crowds of those he wronged to be torn apart? Why was he not executed? At least an execution would have symbolically degraded him in the process of having his life revoked from him. I know these are cruel thoughts, but whenever I think of this man’s actions and cruelty and the scale of his destruction of life, I can never think of any sort of punishment that is remotely adequate. Yet at times my mind wanders. Could there possibly have been something, some sort of harsh consequence for his wrongs that would have been just? Perhaps it’s just as well, he did after all survive all those years without impunity. Any action would have been far overdue. He has lived without consequences, he has lived while taking the lives of so many innocents. Does he feel guilt? Did it ever weigh down upon him, or was he so hardened that he was beyond the point of guilt? Even if so, he has had opportunity to enjoy life’s pleasures, the warmth of the sun, a cool breeze against his face, and even laughter and drunken mirth too no doubt. He didn’t deserve to but he did. I wish I could have done something, anything. I certainly could not bring myself to commit any harm to another, but I wish I could have done something to set things right.
I suppose there really isn’t anything that can be done with respect to this occurrence. I feel defeated though; my belief in the existence of a cosmic justice has fallen through. I lived for so long hoping and expecting justice, but it was all for nothing in the end. I think I understand now why people cling to religion for comfort. When all governments, individuals, and destiny fail, there is at least the afterlife. The Christians’ belief in a heaven and a hell makes sense; at least if someone has escaped worldly retribution for wrongs, they can suffer for an eternity, alongside all of the other wicked sinners of history. I don’t know if there is such a thing as heaven or hell, but I do know that I wish Pinochet hell and all of its tortures for however long his consciousness may survive. I wish him this misery and I wish my dear lost Natalia the inverse.