Sigue la vida

Hola my old friend. It has been so long since I’ve last spoken with you, many years have passed and I had to put todo de mi energia into raising my children who are now grown and care for me if you can believe it! I was so busy with my research and teaching with the university, caring for mi Rosa-bless her heart mi angél, looking for Raul amongst the lists of disappeared (maddeningly), and trying not to fall apart all the while. Now I am un anciano, and I will have more time to spend, dwelling on the past in prose and lamenting about should have’s like all of those melancholy authors who filled Raul’s shelves with their tear stained sagas-JA.

So much has changed since we last spoke it is difficult to summarize the events of one’s own life. After all man is selfish and would rather a thousand pages be devoted to how he ate his arroz con frijoles than a few sentences encompass his entire existence. But I am smart enough to know that my own life is not interesting enough to captivate even my closest hermano for more than a few sentences so I will keep this short, old age has taught me to be concise, life is short. Let’s see, I have retired from my job at the university and live with my youngest daughter Carmen, mi sol, and her esposo Miguel whom I despise. Carmen works as a professor of politics-how times have changed with all of these women taking on the burden of work! Jorge works as a lawyer, he always was good at winning arguments against his mother and my oldest Fernando married a gringa and owns a restaurant chain in California, I am un padre llena de orgullo and cannot wait until the day mis hijos finally decide to give me grandchildren. Mi Rosa passed away two years ago of a heart condition and I will not dwell on this subject porque me da dolores distinctos that I swear have nearly killed me on several occasions-I will say that I now exist in two worlds one where it is only she and I, where I can feel el calor de mi querida and the other of a slow motion reality where only the worried lines of la cara de mi hija keep my feet rooted to the ground. Mis padres tambien passed away 10  and 12 years ago respectively of natural causes but someday I know I will be reunited with mi madre en heaven.

Today Adolfo Scilingo, the bastard, was convicted in Spain. I’d like to say it gives me some sense of relief or retribution. I’d like to say I think it will soothe our victims, the old parents like me, whose children were tortured and thrown from planes, but 30 years safe in jail is not enough to erase what he has done. From years of these “trials’, it is clear that healing cannot be achieved through our system of law, my friends souls are permanently stained with la tristeza and many still want revenge or at least remorse, after all what good is a loser rotting in jail if it’s a loser who refuses to admit it his evil.

[I can’t seem to add a comment to your post so will add here: Hola, Esteban. Thanks for getting in touch again. I, too, will be short as it seems we both have much to get done and not much time left in which to do it. I’m so sorry to hear of your Rosa’s passing, and your parents as well. At least you had many, many good years together. What to make of Scilingo. I hate him, as well, but at least he came clean, whereas these other bastards still don’t say a word. What a crazy world!]



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