Dec 10, 1983
The news of Alfonsin’s swearing in has been clouded by that of my father’s passing. I heard early this morning. He died in his sleep of a heart attack. I hadn’t had a real conversation with him in years. He was never explicitly unkind to me, but he wasn’t exactly warm, and never understood or really tried to connect with me. It’s interesting timing, too. I’m just very confused. I’m feeling a sort of conflicted relief. I wonder how my mother is doing. I only talked to her briefly. I think not going home for the funeral and spending time with my family would make me a horrible person. I will go, but I can’t imagine it will be a very comfortable reunion.
Emotionally and as a skeptic, I might find it hard to fully trust any government, that any government will truly do right by its citizens, that it will not commit horrifying injustices against its own people. But I know intellectually that we are headed in a better direction. We have a democratically elected president. A man I myself voted for. The first ballot I have ever been able to cast; that was a liberating act in itself. There is no more dictatorship. I’m going to have to keep repeating that over to myself. There is no more dictatorship. There is no more dictatorship. And we will not allow there to be one again.
Time will tell how Argentina will heal, and if justice is even a concept that we can consider.