June 25, 1981

June 25, 1981

Dear Gina,

Today I walked past the Plaza and saw the Mothers marching. They come every Thursday and march in silence, demanding to know what happened to their children. I stopped and watched for a few minutes and couldn’t help but feel sad for them. Not just for the loss of their children but for the fact that they still have so much hope. I lost that dangerous optimism long ago, the moment Mama disappeared. I miss her and sometimes lay awake wondering what she felt when they burst in, if she fought, if she thought of us. But I don’t wonder if she’ll come home. I’ve reached a quiet numbness.

I watched the Mothers march and I pitied them. Holding onto hope can do nothing but cause you pain. Asking justice and truth from this government is living in a fantasy. But maybe that’s the difference between losing a parent and losing a child. Maybe they feel like a piece of them is missing and they truly can’t move on. Not that any of us can but it’s different.

I walked home and made myself a snack and let Beni out. Life moves on and the only way to handle it is to move with it.

Thinking of you daily.

All my love,
Antonio

One thought on “June 25, 1981

  1. ssvolk says:

    It may seem like they are hopeless optimists, Antonio, but they do hold out hope for all of us, hope that others will join them in their protests and that, if enough of us do that, this will stop.

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